Ask A Wizard, Or a Witch, Or, You Get It
by MsPikachu
Summary: Have you ever had a question you have wanted to ask a character on Harry Potter? Well, here is your chance! Come read the interviews of Harry Potter characters, hosted by Andi and Monikah. Requests and ideas accepted. :D


Ask A Wizard … Or a Witch … Or … You Get My Point

**Ask A Wizard … Or a Witch … Or … You Get My Point ! **

**If you don't like randomness or you don't have a sense of humor, leave NOW. This is NOT the story for you.**

**Harry's Interview ! (Daaahhh angel chords xD Okay, serious now.)**

**Andi:** How are you?

Harry: … Spectacular. (Reference: Fourth Harry Potter movie)

**Andi:** So what have you been up to lately? Talking to girls … Getting a job … Getting a HAIRCUT … SLAYING SOME DRAGONS? YELLING AT YOUR FRIENDS?!

**Monikah:** Andi, you're yelling.

**Andi:** Oh. Sorry. Is that what have you been up to?

**Harry:** Um … no … Well … I just kind of killed Voldemort … (cue gothic music) … Where did that music come from?!

**Andi:** Oh, our music player has kind of been broken. Professor Lupin, you promised you'd fix it!

**Lupin:** (in background) Sorry, Andi.

**Andi: **Why you little--! (chases Lupin)

**Monikah & Harry: **(stare at Andi)

**Monikah: **… Well this is awkward. I think we'll go to a commercial break now. We'll be right back, folks!

**COMMERCIAL BREAK :D**

**Lockhart: **Are you tired of pumpkin juice stains on your robes? Or how about butterbeer stains on your favorite teddy bear? Well, now we have a new product that will solve all your problems! Lockhart Clean! (cue lively music) This will get rid of your toughest stains! Look at this white carpet stained with Muggle red wine! (pours Lockhart Clean on the carpet) (Carpet explodes) ...

**Producer:** Cut … CUT!!

--

**Announcer: **Previously on _Single Witches_ …

**Hermione:** Neville, would you accept my last rose?

**Neville: **Gosh Hermione, I never thought I would live to see this day. (takes the rose that Hermione hands him)

**Ron: **I can't believe you picked him over me! And after all we've been through!

**Hermione:** Sorry, Ron … I just don't like you! Bye, loser!

**END COMMERCIAL BREAK (:**

**Monikah: **And now we're back to _Ask a Wizard … Or a Witch … Or … You Get My Point!_

**Lupin: **(tied to a tree (yes, it is the middle of the studio.)) Don't you think we should shorten the title a little bit?

**Andi: **IT'S MY SHOW, AND I'LL GO DO WHATEVER THE CRAP I WANT! (chair flies out of no where and hits Lupin)

**Harry: **Well, it is a bit long …

**Andi: **DO YOU WANNA DIE TOO?!

**Harry:** (gulps)

**Monikah:** _Speaking_ of death! So Harry, how many times do you have to cheat death? I mean … there was escaping death when you were an infant, you know, from Voldemort … you know … ringing a bell? And then there was the Devil's Snare your first year of Hogwarts … and Quirrel tried to kill you … and then there was (goes on for a half an hour) I MEAN … I MEAN … THAT'S LIKE … THIRTY TIMES ALREADY! HOW MANY MORE, MAN?!

**Harry: **I didn't cheat death_ that_ many times! You hit me with a cow that one time, remember?!

**Monikah: **… that wasn't me …

**Harry: **Who was it?

**Ron: **(whistling in background)

**Andi:** … anyways. So Harry … do you _always_ have a stick up your butt? I mean, you're always mad!

**Harry: **Uh … no I'm not …

**Lupin: **He's in denial.

**Harry: **I AM NOT ALWAYS MAD!

**Andi:** … Our point exactly.

**Harry:** (glares at hosts)

**Monikah: **Hey, Harry, you know that cupboard that you lived in? You know … in the Dursleys' house?

**Harry:** Um … yeah … I … you know, kind of lived there … for a good … let's see, ELEVEN YEARS OF MY LIFE! WHY WOULDN'T I REMEMBER IT?!

**Monikah: **Well … I was wondering … Could I move in there? I like small spaces. (grins)

**Andi:** Girl, you're freaking crazy! Small spaces are scary as BUTT!

**Monikah: **Nu-UH! You're just freaking out because we caught you and Oliver making out in that broom closet that one time!

**Andi: **Oh, you're getting it now! I declare a projectile war!

**Harry:** What's a projectile? (fish soars through the air and hits him in the face) Oh … I got it now.

**Andi and Monikah: **(fighting and arguing incoherently)

**Lupin: **I guess that takes us to our second commercial break. But don't go away, folks! We'll be right back! (camera shuts off) Now can somebody untie me? I'd like to spend the rest of my life NOT tied to this tree, thank you.

**Harry: **(gets up to help Lupin)

**Andi and Monikah:** (stop fighting and look at each other)

**Andi: **Alliance?

**Monikah: **Alliance.

(pounce on Harry)

**COMMERCIAL BREAK :D**

**Dumbledore:** Do your kids complain about not having enough sugary goodness in their lives? Here is a cereal to make all your dreams come true. Cheriowls! (dun du-du-dunn!) It's sweet and sugary, and even has miniature sexy owl marshmallows to satisfy your children's cravings!

**Producer:** You can't say "sexy" in the commercial!

**Dumledore: **I can't? Aww … Okay … sorry Andi:

**Andi:** (in background) It's okay, Professor.

**Dumbledore:** And it even has miniature owl marshmallows. Better, Mr. Producer? (glares at producer) On top of all that … (laughs) On top of. Lol.

**Monikah: **Did he just say "lol"?

**Dumbledore: **Yes, I did. Can I finish my commercial now? … Thank you. It's even healthy! With twelve vitamins and minerals, Cheriowls will keep your children happy, and not dead. So buy Cheriowls, and support Hedwig in her goal to get revenge on J. K. Rowling!

--

**Andi: **Are you tired of blemishes on your beautiful face?

**Monikah: **Then this new product will make them disappear … like magic! (laughing) That's so corny.

**Andi: **Shush! We're being paid!

**Monikah: **Being paid to say corny things like "they'll disappear like magic," even though it really has nothing whatsoever to do with magic?

**Andi: **… Good point. But we're still being paid.

**Monikah:** Better point. Where were we?

**Andi: **(points to script)

**Monikah: **Oh yeah! They'll disappear like magic!

**Andi & Monikah:** Acne-Be-Gone! (ding)

**Producer: **That's a wrap! (turns off camera)

**Monikah: **Hey … we weren't done yet!

**Producer: **Well, I only have three pages to do your whole show, and you guys are taking way too long!

**Andi: **(pulls chair out of no where) No we weren't!

**Producer: **…

**END COMMERCIAL BREAK (:**

**Lupin: **And we're back! I am still tied to this tree, but that is a-okay!

**Harry:** (is chained to the chair and has a giant anime band-aid on his forehead)

**Monikah: **Well, Harry, we have just one last question for you …

**Andi: **So! … Harry, how does it feel to be dating your best friend's sister? (eye twitches)

**Harry: **… If I tell you, you'll just beat me up again.

**Monikah: **We won't! I promise.

**Harry: **… (glares) Well … it's nice.

**Andi: **She's like … your own sister … I mean … Ron is like your brother, is he not?

**Harry: **I suppose.

**Ron: **(in background) THAT'S NOT NICE!

**Andi:** … And Ginny is Ron's sister, right?

**Harry: **Last time I checked, yes.

**Ron: **(still in background) YOU'RE DARN RIGHT, SHE IS!

**Andi:** So I guess that makes Ginny like your sister … right?

**Harry: **Um … if you really look at it that way …

**Ron: **Incest … INCEST! FORM THE ANGRY MOB!

**Angry Mob: **(beats up Harry)

**Harry: **Hey, I thought you said I wouldn't be beaten up again!

**Monikah: **No, no, no, honey. We promised that WE wouldn't beat you up. We never said THEY wouldn't.

**Harry:** NOOOOOOOOOO!

**Lupin:** Well, I believe that would close our show. Tune in next week, we will be interviewing Professor Severus Snape and my good friend, Cedric Diggory, who, coincidentally, is dating Miss Monikah.

**Monikah:** (gives a thumbs up)

**Lupin:** Good bye, everybody! (Camera shuts off) NOW CAN SOMEBODY UNTIE ME FROM THIS BLOODY TREE?!

**Andi: **Aw, FINE. You're not fun, Professor.

**Thank you everybody for reading. However, a final note, if you do not like our story, please do us a favor and DON'T FREAKING COMMENT. I'm sick of getting retarded comments saying, "This is crap. Why would you post up something like this?" So give a little respect, and don't bug us, because if you don't bug us, we won't bug you. Thank you. If you have any requests for a story or interview, we will gladly take your requests. Or ideas work fine, too … as long as they're not completely sexually based. We spent two hours writing this one, and we hope you enjoyed it (:**


End file.
